Time Travel in Kansas City

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So if you have ever heard Dave Attell, you know what I'm talking about. And if you've ever hung out with Neil Marx you know good ol time travel on a Saturday night is an inevitable outcome. To put it in perspective, the last 5 times I've blacked out have all been nights Neil and I hit the town.

I decided to make one last trip to KC to hang with Uncle Neilski and experience midwest debauchery at its finest. Kansas City by the way is a great town and after this weekend, I'm convinced it's up there with Chicago as my favorite fly-over state destination. Hot girls, casinos, tons of sporting events, great bars and neighborhoods and a population that gets after it like Charlie Sheen hopped up on blow in a New York hotel.

In any case, before the main event on Sunday, me, Neilski and his Sis Emily hit the Plaza to get loaded. This night had all the makings: A&M was playing Nebraska, degenerate Husker fans were everywhere, I was celebrating a new job offer, Em's apartment within earshot of all the haunts was the predetermined crash-pad, Uncle Neil had all his credit cards in tote and the only thing we had to do the next day was show up hungover to some tailgating at Arrowhead. Perfect. Sometime after our second set of shots with an A&M alum who had a healthy per diem as an advertising exec and was feeling generous, I stopped remembering. Ala Attell, what followed was me falling in and out of consciousness ending up at a different spot with different peeps somewhere in the Plaza each time. It went something like this. . . .

ESPN zone, beers, A&M / Nebraska game, shots, Bo Pellini screaming, shots, angry passive aggressive 55 year old Husker fan yelling at Neil, beers, "Taylor Martinez has no penis" taunt, Onion Rings, shots, Neil getting bounced for talking trash, stumbling, beers, next bar, A&M wins, shots, shots, shots, new friends, beers, drunk, Ooops didn't mean to get that on my shoes, next bar, shots, 3rd floor vestibule of some random building with no way out, 6 missed calls from a worried Emily using Uncle Neil's phone, stumbling, black out, pass out, wake up, morning.

I think this facebook status update the next day from one of our new friends I have no recollection meeting about sums it up. . . 

Tammy, vick, butt naked, my cousin mika, stephanie,simone just what the doctor ordered!! Give em something to talk about as always!! My new Fb friends Andy and Neil thanks for the free nite TEXAS A and M baby !! Had a blast tonite, love ya love ya im sure you already know!!!*tears*!!

Coincidentally, the last time I got stuck in a vestibule for an unknown amount of time happened on a flaming dr. pepper night with Neil and Jav in Keystone, CO. Similar to this time, I simply decided at some point to leave. The only evidence then was a grainy camera-phone picture of some stairs and dirty carpeting. This time Emily claims I just answered the phone, she told me where she and Neil were and I left. But I was there for at least a couple hours. Nice. Time travel, love it. 

Arrowhead was sick and the Patriots West dominated a weak Cardinals team that wishes Kurt Warner didn't do so well in Dancing with the Stars. When your team could desperately use Matt Leinart again, you know you're in trouble. One of the highlights from the Arrowheard parking lot was the "Priorities in Life" Flag totem pole pictured above. In order it goes America, Chiefs, Beer, Nebraska, Jets. While I disagree with the last two, the top three are pretty solid, particularly if you happen to be a Chiefs fan. 

To put a cherry on top of the weekend, the Patriots won on an epic Peyton Manning fail, prompting the latest Peyton Manning Face. Seriously, people still think he is a superior quarterback to Brady? Not only does Brady hold the head to head edge 8-4 but he hasn't killed his team in their two biggest matchups in their last 11 games. Note the Peyton face at the 17 sec. mark. Great weekend, great great weekend. Thanks to the Marx clan. You illed it.


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